shattered d.r.e.a.m.s

Incompatibility kills relationships

Most of us will be aware of the dangers of seeing someone with vast differences. Wonder how many of you really ask yourself about the reason of keep on seeing someone you don’t care at all?? Or why you keep on seeing someone you don’t really want t be with just that you don’t want to hurt his/her feeling, cox at the end this would really lead both of you into trouble. Do you seriously consider the question -- "Is he/she the one for you?" -- before marriage. If relationships are failing at such a rate, why did these people get together in the first place?

Many of you have excuses like: ‘he/she has changed since you met’, ‘we just grew apart’; ‘the love just disappeared from the relationship’; ‘we weren't compatible’; ‘financial troubles got in our way’; ‘we weren't communicating anymore’; ‘he/she was unfaithful and cheated on you’. But still some of you just ignore all problems and continue the relationship. Why do you wanna ruin your future; when you know all of this?? The bad side of this is most you get married, commit to a relationship, have children and then only realize or decide that he/she is not the one for you. Then, that would be too late. It would not only affect both of you, even it would affect your children as well as your family too. On the other side if you tries to move on with your initial state or want to sacrifice just for the sake of children, I don’t think that is a very good idea too. This again would lead you both into arguments and it would become a heavy burden. If one is unhappy of the relationship, I don’t really think that relationship would work. Cox it would again affect your children.

I have come across this from an article by Paul Mauchline, which I totally agree. “Many of the warning signs of incompatibility or potential conflict between two partners are present from the beginning of the relationship. The problem lies in recognizing these challenges and addressing them early on in the relationship, before they become irreconcilable differences. If important issues are irreconcilable from the start, it is a good indication that the relationship will not succeed. Each of us is a unique person, with individual qualities, needs, strengths, and imperfections. In relationships with others, two unique individuals come together, and try to live in harmony with one another. Each person's qualities interact with the other's to set the mood or tone of the relationship. It is the cumulative effect of many attributes in another that make us feel safe and comfortable in a relationship. Many of us fall in love with one aspect or very few aspects of our partners, and try to downplay the other aspects that make us unhappy. Often this gets us into trouble. If we spend our time and energy trying to reassure ourselves that the problems with our partner do not exist, we may be ignoring the issues that will slowly, cumulatively destroy the relationship.”

Wonder why we keep on ignoring all the problems?? Also why do we keep on having relationship when we know deep down that he/she is not the one??

Guess if you want your relationship to be successful you got to find someone compatible. You must connect on many levels with you partner then problems will surely be less.

Well all above is just my point of view, so please don’t take it too personally.

posted by nadhee @ 03:56